ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
