They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
