youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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