Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
