just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
