we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
