were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
