I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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