a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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