I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
