i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
