did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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