How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
high people should be assigned attendants
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
