i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
