Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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