Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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