When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
