I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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