for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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