2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
