My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think I died a long time ago.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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