all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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