That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you win again, gameday.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
