I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
