there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
