I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
