It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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