I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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