bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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