But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
