Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
