If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Randomize
