is your mom at the bar?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
