I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
