Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
