Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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