Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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