how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
