take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
