chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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