my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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