is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
