There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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