Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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