A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
