I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
