wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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