Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
