I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
