I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We need a shit load of segways right now
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
